


Rootbeer Quest

by Glowstickia



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Minor Violence, TAZ Big Bang 2018, TAZ dust, The Adventure Bang 2018, alcohol mention, bandits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-07 08:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16404818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glowstickia/pseuds/Glowstickia
Summary: Errol hasn't tasted the sweet fizz of rootbeer in ages. And just his luck The Full Moon Saloon, the only place that even sells it, is bone dry. Wilder has a proposition for him and a vampire woman with an ax. Errol wants his rootbeer...and he will get it by golly.Written for The Adventure Zone Big Bang 2018!





	1. The Full Moon Saloon

**Author's Note:**

> Bless my art partners in sarsaparilla crimes [ thelastbastion](https://thelastbashtion.tumblr.com/post/179594564670/errol-hasnt-tasted-the-sweet-fizz-of-rootbeer-in) and [BrightChimera](https://wibblywobblydragonywagonystuff.tumblr.com/post/179566247864/my-work-for-theadventurebang-based-on-the-lovely)
> 
> Ya'll are the best!!!!
> 
> Check out the links for their sweet sweet draws. :3

[image by [thelastbashtion]](https://thelastbashtion.tumblr.com/)

Errol Ryehouse was thirsty. Water quenched, but the taste didn’t fill the void in his heart. Alcohol was too bitter, too warm in his gut, but he’d clink bottles with his fellow people of Carrion Street. It’d be rude of him to turn down a simple kind gesture while the locals would tease him to shreds. Word had always spread quickly and throwing a pistol at the emergency bell was no exception.

The group took refuge on the porch of Ms. Fennec’s house as she passed out glasses of iced tea, beer, and a fresh batch of lemon cookies. The boys chuckled as she smacked Jasper’s hand away from the cookies. “You’ve had five already, Jasp. Save some for the others.”

He rubbed his hand and chewed on the cookie he was holding in his mouth. He swallowed. “They’re good cookies Aggie.”

Everyone agreed and took a swig of their respective drinks. Errol set his glass of iced tea down. The mint leaves in the glass slowly sank to the bottom. “Hey, uh, Ms. Fennec-”

She turned to him. A smile dusted her face. “Errol, I told you, its Aggie amongst friends.”

“Aggie,” he corrected. His claws itched the back of his neck. God it was hot. “You wouldn’t happen to have any rootbeer, would ya?”

She shook her head. “Sorry. Haven’t had any in stock for months.”

Someone snorted. “I think this calls for ringing the bell.” Laughter roared through the group.

Errol’s ears pressed against his head as they tilted back. “They were armed.” His rebuttal was lost amongst the laughter.

Aggie placed the wooden tray on the empty barrel they’d been using as a table. She wiped her hands on her flour coated apron. “Have you tried the Full Moon Saloon?” She asked as the others continued making bell jokes.

Errol avoided her gaze by picking up his iced tea again. “I-er...had a bit of trouble last time-”

“Emergency bell trouble?” The group went into a laughing frenzy.

Aggie sighed and shoved a lemon cookie in Jasper’s open mouth. He choked. “Did you get on Wilder’s blacklist like Silas did couple months back?”

“Oh, yeah I heard ‘bout that.” Rodger took a swig of his beer, “No one’s allowed to touch the tap ‘cept for him. Silas was caught and thrown out.”

Jasper coughed his cookie into his hand and licked at some of the crumbs. “Mmmm yeah, he’s got a wanted poster near the register for sassafras crimes.”

Errol took a delicate sip of his iced tea. It was bitter and minty. One never asked for sugar in Ms. Fennec’s presence. Sugar never did any good to sweeten cold drinks anyways. “So, Full Moon Saloon the only place that has any?”

Aggie nodded. “‘Fraid so. Wilder sorta holds the monopoly over rootbeer shipments.” She snagged a glass of iced tea and took a long gulp, “So, if you want any, best be kind to Wilder.”

Errol stood and finished his glass. “Thank ya for the tea, Aggie.”

She gathered her skirts and sat down in the wicker chair next to the barrel table. “Not a problem Mr. Ryehouse.” She winked and tossed a cloth wrapped cookie at him. He fumbled. “Swing by anytime, ya hear?”

Errol snagged his hat and placed it on his head. “Will do.” He nodded to the group. “A pleasure sitting with ya folks.”

Someone shouted out as he began walking away. “Remember, if you’ve got an emergency, throw yer pistol at the bell!” Laughter stung Errol’s cheeks, but he kept walking.

 

_He had a mission to complete_.

* * *

 

While it wasn’t early in the morning like the last time he had walked across the floorboards, the Full Moon Saloon’s atmosphere hadn’t changed much. There were more patrons here, kicking back and relaxing after a day’s worth of work behind them. Smoke and alcohol wafted the air as Errol made a beeline for the counter.

He sat on an open stool as the guy next to him snored loudly into his arms. The man’s grip on his empty shot of what Errol assumed was whiskey was relaxed. Wilder suddenly appeared and with practiced ease removed the shot glass from the sleeping man’s hand.

Errol cleared his throat. “H-hey again.”

Wilder cocked an eyebrow at him. “Don’t have your ghostly friend ‘round here do ya?” He asked, setting the glass in the sink with the rest of the dishes.

Errol quickly shook his head. “No sir, er Wilder sir. Haven’t seen him fer a while now uh-” His claws tapped the counter as he leaned on his arm. “You wouldn’t happen to er...have some of that sweet ol’ sarsaparilla would you?”

Wilder paused. His handful of rag had stopped wiping down the glass. “As I’ve been telling everyone for the past few weeks.” He returned to cleaning the glass, “My shipment has been compromised.” Errol’s stool screeched against the hardwood as he stood. Wilder shot him a look. “Calm yourself. Just a small hiccup. The sarsaparilla trees nearby caught a little blight. My grower is working on fixing the issue.” His eyes glistened as the light from the glass caught his eyes.

Errol sat back down. “So...no rootbeer?”

“For now,” Wilder said, placing the glass on the counter, “can I interest you in something else to drink?”

Errol’s lips thinned as he hummed. “No, uh no… was kind of hoping you’d have some.”

Wilder shrugged his shoulders. “Well, you’re tough outta luck.” He picked up another glass, still slightly soapy from the rinse he gave it. “Although…” Wilder’s voice trailed off, “if you truly want some rootbeer swing by around midnight. I have a job if you’re interested.”

Errol’s eyes narrowed. He smacked his lips. “Alrighty.”

Wilder went back to his glass. “If you’re not going to buy something, scoot.”

Errol huffed through his nose. His stomach rumbled. “Got any meat?”

“We’ve got chicken-”

Errol slapped a few coins on the counter “I’ll take some of that.”

* * *

 

The waxing moon was high in the sky when Errol returned to the Full Moon Saloon. The patrons had dwindled save for a few near the back and a muscular woman sitting at the counter. She took a swig from her glass and shot a glance at Errol before gently placing the glass on the counter. Wilder nodded to Errol as he took his place beside the woman.

[Candy by [thelastbashtion]](https://thelastbashtion.tumblr.com/)

“So, yer Errol Ryehouse.” She spoke first, passing her glass back and forth between her hands. It slid to her left and she grinned at him. “Didn’ realize a Fur could be so wolfish this time of the month.”

Errol scratched his neck and cleared his throat. “So, uh,” his brows furrowed as he searched his memory, “you aaaaaaare?”

“Cannaia Lasiurus ,” she greeted as she winked and flexed one arm at him.

Wilder was back to cleaning glasses with his rag. “Ms. Lasiurus,” he said, disapproval coating his voice, “save that for the trees.”

She rolled her eyes and finished her glass. “So, are you gonna tell us the job or what?”

Wilder glanced to the back of the saloon and then focused on Errol and Cannaia. “Follow me,” he said, placing the glass upside down on the clean shelf. The trio walked outside. Out back was a wagon tied to a horse.

Errol rubbed his chin. “So, uh, what’s with the horse?”

Wilder clasped his hands behind his back and turned to face them. “You asked about the rootbeer.” Errol blinked. “As I’ve stated before: My shipment was compromised. You want rootbeer? You’ll need to talk to my supplier.” Wilder pulled an envelope out of his jacket and handed it to Errol. “All the instructions are in here. Gather your resources and prepare to leave before sunrise.”

Cannaia crossed her arms. “And what about payment.” Wilder tossed a small leather pouch at her. She caught it without blinking.

“That’s 15%. Return with my shipment and I’ll pay you the rest.”

She opened the pouch, eyed it and slipped it into her vest. “Sunrise?”

Wilder nodded. “The sooner you leave, the quicker you’ll return with my lost shipment.” His gaze shifted between them. “Much luck on your retrieval. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think Silas is trying for the tap again.”

Cannaia leaned over Errol’s shoulder as Wilder left. “Bud, you gonna open that?” She asked, referring to the envelope.

His ear twitched. “Riiiight,” he eyed her suspiciously as his claw cut underneath the golden wax seal. The seal had a grand W in the center of a full moon. Cannaia reached over and pulled out the parchment from the envelope. She glanced it over and clicked her tongue.

“Long ride ahead of us,” she elbowed him and handed him the instructions, “I’m gonna go catch a few z’s. See you in the suntime.”

Errol huffed through his nose and kicked up dust. Augustus was gonna laugh his head off about this, Errol knew it. He stuffed the parchment back into the envelope and secured it in his jacket. Maybe he could enlist Ms. Fennec into making him a couple days worth of lunches. He yawned.

Tomorrow was gonna be a loooooooong day.

 

_You will be traveling to Thincreek to meet a man by the name of Ambrose Baileshot. Be sure to pack enough supplies for a few days._


	2. All Roads Lead to Thincreek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Errol meets up with his partner in sarsaparilla detective work. Time to find the hedge wizard!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, Candy is fun to write.[ Hope you like her.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPweMlXTnN0)

Errol gave his bags another once over before he left his house. He stifled another yawn as he made his way back to the Full Moon Saloon. The first rays of the rising sun kissed the earth. Errol had seen many sunrises in his lifetime with each one being a gentle reminder...darkness shall pass. He closed his eyes as the warmth of the sun washed over him.

“Hey Errol,” the woman’s voice from yesterday startled him. She straightened as she pushed herself off the cart, “‘bout time ya showed up.”

“Canni-”

“Candy.”

Errol’s ears pressed flat against his head. “Pardon?”

Cannia climbed to the driver’s seat. “Candy’s m’name.” She thumbed to the back, “Chuck yer stuff next ta mine.” She grinned. Pointed incisors pushed against her lower lip. “Partner.”

Errol arched an eyebrow. “Okaaaay.” He quickly placed his belongings next to a red and black checkered carpet bag. Candy reached down and held out her hand. He took it, and as though he weighed nothing, she pulled him up next to her with ease. Errol collected himself as Candy hollered and cracked the reigns.

Dust trailed behind them as they rode into the sunrise. Errol held his seat as the wheels hit rocks and holes in the road. It wasn’t until a ways past the church did he dare speak up.

“Did I weigh anything to you?”

Candy snorted. “Is that what you’re so hung up about?” She belted a laugh. “Like a sack of potatoes.” She winked at him.

He chewed the insides of his cheeks, being careful not to draw blood. “A sack of potatoes is kind of...heavy?”

She shook her head, keeping her eyes focused on the road. “Must be a weaklin’ then.”

“Well, hey now-”

"Chill your whiskers, Ryehouse. I chop trees and lift logs fer a livin'.” She bumped his shoulder. “You ain't nothin' compared to them... 'cept maybe a saplin'."

He opened then closed his mouth. Teasing, he could never escape the teasing. He sighed. “If ya say so.” It was going to be a loooooong trip.

She smiled. “What ‘bout you _partner_?” She asked, tilting her wide brim hat low.

“Pardon?”

“What do ya do fer a livin’?”

They bounced as the wheels hit a couple dips in the road. Errol clung to his seat. “I uh… help solve cases.”

“Graysons?”

“Yeah,” he scratched the back of his neck, “couple of...friends o’ mine and I stopped Dry River from turning on itself.” _And an innocent kid from taking the blame_. Errol turned to barren land, watching the dust and cracked mud pass by. His eyes spotted dots of green in the distance. Cacti. He pulled at the canteen at his hip and took a swing.

“Well, good thing we’ve got an expert detective on this _case_ then.”

He choked on his water. “What?”

Candy slapped his back. “You stopped a murderer.” She pulled at the golden chain around her neck and held the locket out for Errol to see. Inside was a photo of a woman with bright eyes and long, flowing hair. “Mah girl Emilia told me all about what happened couple weeks ago. Didn’ know you was a sasparilla fellow.” She laughed as she clicked the locket shut and dropped it under her shirt. Her eyes were glistening. “More of a whiskey gal myself. Emi ‘course don’t care for it. Sides, her job needs her to be coherent.”

He raised his brow.

“She’s a journalist. Knows a lot o’ things most shouldn’t and well sticks her nose into other peoples business. Got herself into some trouble while back,” she shrugged as she smacked the reigns, “Course that won’t stop her for nothin’. Pretty sure she’s dug her fangs into the Blackwell’s affairs after that whole mishap you helped stop.” Candy stared ahead, her eyes shaded by her hat.

Errol leaned back and smacked his lips. “So, uh, you know how to get ter Thincreek?”

She grinned and handed him a folded and weather worn pack of paper. “Nope!”

  
[image by [BrightChimera](https://wibblywobblydragonywagonystuff.tumblr.com/post/179566247864/my-work-for-theadventurebang-based-on-the-lovely)]

 

* * *

It was a couple days ride by the time they made it to Thincreek. The sun was high and hot - reaaaally hot. Candy elbowed Errol as they passed the wooden sign welcoming them to town. “Alright Whiskers,” she said keeping her hat low, “where’s the hedge wizard we gotta see?” Her eyes scanned ahead, avoiding making eye contact with the locals.

Errol stifled a yawn as he dug into his coat pocket. He produced the letter and quickly skimmed it. “Says here he’s usually found at Dayside Ranch,” he frowned, “huh.” He squinted at the words scrawled on the page. Wilder’s handwriting was legible but...

“Need glasses, Ryehouse?” Candy teased, ignoring the folks gawking at them.

“No, no,” he handed the letter to her, “there’s a smudged bit.”

Candy traded the letter for the reins. She hummed and tilted her hat back as she skimmed the bit he pointed out. “Aaaah yep, smudged alright.” She clicked her tongue, “Damn, well we need to stop the cart anyways.”

Errol glanced around, noting the startling amount of people suddenly staring at-. He pulled his coat higher and sank into his collar. “Yeah, good idea, uh-”

She shoved the letter against his chest and tugged at the reins in his hands. “Let’s get some grub.” He nodded slowly, giving the reins up without a fight. She steered them between a saloon and a general store. He didn’t catch the names, nor did he pay his surroundings any mind as he folded the letter up and returned it to his pocket. Candy clicked her tongue, before hopping down and tying the horses to a wooden post. “Alright, Ryehouse, grab yer stuff. Pretty sure we’ve got a target on our backs now.” She said as she pulled her gloves off.

“Huh? Oh..yea.”

Candy glanced up at him and sighed. “Pay them no mind, Errol. They don’ see much o’ my kind ‘round here neither.” She reached up and patted his leg before digging into the carriage and pulling out her bag.

“Candy?”

She hummed.

“Thanks,” Errol said before hopping down to join her.

She grinned at him; her fangs shining in the afternoon sun. “Anytime, Whiskers.” She pushed her hat back and started walking towards the saloon. “Now, c’mon. Don’ know ‘bout you, but I’m mighty parched.”

Errol grabbed his pack and ran after her. “Right behind you.”

As they rounded the corner, a woman with dusty red curls and a denim jacket rushed past, shoving people out of her way as she ran. Errol's ears perked up as several voices called out, ordering the woman to halt. Candy stretched her hand out, keeping him back as a few more people took sprinting off.  
  
"So, uh-"  
  
"No," Candy said, grabbing Errol's shoulder and half dragged him to the doors of the saloon, "this ain't some Grayson case. We've got our own job to do. Let 'em handle the riff raff." The floorboards creaked as they entered the saloon. Smoke, alcohol, and meat cooking (Errol guessed chicken, Candy bet hog. Errol won.) wafted the air. Idle chatter crowded the room as stools dragged across the floor. Someone towards the back slapped their hands against a table and started shouting about jacks. Candy released her grip on Errol and clicked her tongue. "I need some whiskey."  
  
"Not too much," Errol chastised, "we're gonna need your brains as well as your brawns-"  
  
"Yea, yea..." Candy waved him off as she made her way towards the bar.  
  
Errol sighed, resigning to following her lead when he felt the fur on the back of his neck raise. His eyes glanced back, seeing a man with a short graying beard catch his eye. Their eyes met briefly. The man immediately busied himself with stirring his fork around the empty plate. Taking a quick glance towards Candy, who seemed to be chatting up the bartender, Errol casually made his way over to the bearded man.

Errol cleared his throat. "So, this seat taken?"  
  
The bearded man jumped a little in his chair. He laughed quietly. "No, I was actually just-"  
  
Errol pulled out the stool and sat down. He held out his paw...hand. "Name's Errol Ryehouse, stranger."  
  
He stared at Errol's hand then at his face before gingerly accepting the offer. "Ambrose Baileshot." Errol's ears perked up. Ambrose scanned his features, "I didn't think it was _that_ time of the month."  
  
Errol's lip twitched. "Oh, uh, it’s not, it’s a bit of a long story-say did you say you're Baileshot?"

Ambrose quickly pulled his hand back, like he had touched hot metal. “I-yes,” he frowned as his hand slowly went inside his coat, “who uh...wants to know?”

Errol held his hands up in defense. “Woah there partner, just uh-here,” he pulled the letter out of his jacket and placed it on the table between them, “Wilder sent us.”  
  
“Us?”  
  
“Yep,” Candy dragged a stool over and knocked back the rest of her drink, “boy, Ryehouse, ya sure do know how to sniff ‘em out.” She grinned. Wide.

“Ooo dear,” Ambrose moved his hand away from his coat and started sliding down in his seat, “a werewolf _AND_ a vampire.” He muttered under his breath and gripped the table. “Listen, tell Wilder the sasparilla is still having some trouble and I’ll need more time to-”

Candy leaned forward. Her eyes were dark. “What kind o’ trouble?”

Errol gently placed his hand on her shoulder. “Let’s not scare him into passing out.” She raised an eyebrow at him, “If you could get me some meat and something non-alcoholic, I’ll get your next two drinks.”

Candy brightened. “Oh ho hooooo,” she smacked Errol’s back. He grunted. “I knew I liked you,” she squeezed him before getting up and going right back to the bar.

Ambrose sighed in relief. “Thank you.”

Errol turned back to him. “Don’t thank me just yet. I can bring her back over here.”

He paled. “Please don’t.”

“Then tell me, what’s goin’ on with the rootbeer?”

Ambrose swallowed. “Well...you see…” His eyes searched the room before falling back on Errol, yet still avoiding looking directly at him, “it was The Red Queens.”

Errol frowned. “The who?”

He leaned in closer and whispered. “They’re a bandit gang and have been plaguing this town for almost a month now. They take whatever they want and-” Ambrose scratched his beard, “they leave a playing card--their calling card whenever they steal something so you know it's their property now.” He dug around his pockets before producing a crumpled playing card and laying it on the table.

Errol raised a brow. Ambrose nodded at him. Errol gingerly picked it up and began to straighten it out against the table. The Queen of Hearts sat in his hand. Her eyes were marked out with red ink.

"I found it when I was finishing up his last shipment...They took crates full of bottles, a few kegs for the tap..." he ran his hands over his face, "I didn't want-I was hoping Wilder wouldn't persist if I told him blight took out some of the trees...that it'd buy me some time."

Errol tapped his claws against the table. “You uh...know, bud, that lying is gonna get you into some deeper shit than the truth, right?”

Ambrose slumped in his chair. “Yes, I know.” He ran his has over his face. “What am I gonna do? Wilder will have my _hide_ if I don’t-”

“Whoa,” Errol raised his hands, “hey now, let’s take a breath and back up a bit.” Ambrose nodded glumly, as he sat up. Errol tapped the queen with his claw. “Where did you find this card?”

His eyes turned distant. “It was...where the cart was,” he sniffed, “it had Wilder’s symbol on it. I don’t know _where_ it went.”

Errol nodded pulling out a small pad of paper and a slightly broken pencil from his coat. “The full moon with the W in the center?” Ambrose nodded. “About...how much time between the last time you saw the cart and when you noticed it gone?”

“About...twenty minutes. I was doing some last minute prep before we’d send it out. At first I thought one of my associates had moved it. And when I found the card well…”

Errol chewed on his tongue as he jotted down a few notes. “Was anyone acting suspicious that day? Did you happen to, like, take on a new employee or…?”

“Well,” he scratched his beard and leaned on the table, “there was...Pepper.”

Errol raised a brow. “Who’s Pepper?”

“She…” Ambrose cleared his throat, “she started working for us a month before the shipment disappeared. Was a real go-getter. Always had to be on a few tasks at once. She’d get them done of course, once reminded, but she was a worker. She acted a bit...antsy, which for her was almost normal...but something about that day. She had injured herself.” Ambrose tapped the table and frowned, “It was nothing major. She was smoking with Jake at the time, next thing I know she’s hobbling, barely able to stay on her own two feet.”

Errol clicked his tongue. “Do you think she might be part of the Red Queens?”

Ambrose hushed him. “Shhh--keep your voice down when you…” he sighed, “Only women are allowed to be part of the gang. I don’t know if she was or not. She hasn’t been back since her ankle was injured. Jake didn’t exactly _see_ what happened. She probably sprained it and that sucked her energy for all I know.”

Errol underlined Pepper’s name. “Is Jake around?”

He shook his head. “Jake is on a supply run right now. Won’t be back for another couple days at minimum.”

“Who else knew Pepper? What’d she look like?”

“Well, I can tell you, she didn’t wear skirts. Always wore too long of pants, as the legs were rolled up at the bottom. Said she’s been against ‘em since her momma gave her hand-me-downs of her brother’s clothes at a young age. Her hair was short too. Uh, quite...small. She didn’t care when people pointed out her height. From what I’ve heard, she’d could take down men twice her size without much of a fight.”

Errol’s lips thinned, wrote tough on his paper and circled it. “Anything else you can tell me about that day?”

Ambrose strained a laugh. “Other than everyone panicking that our shipment had been stolen?” He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand, “It was chaos. I couldn’t tell you much else. There was too much going on to keep an eye on everyone. So no. That’s it.” He stood and placed his hands on the table. “Mr. Ryehouse? Please keep this information to yourself. If you-”

Errol smiled. “Relax Mr. Baileshot, we’ll find your lost shipment-”

“Damn right,” Candy dropped a plate of chicken in front of Errol. His stomach immediately growled in delight. She smacked his shoulder, beaming, “this one here stopped a murderer from walking away free. And,” she slammed a fruity looking drink on the table before flexing her arm, “no one can handle these guns.”

Ambrose visibly paled. “Uh...y-yeah.” He coughed, “If you’ll excuse me.” He shuffled past them and all but ran out the door.

Errol looked up at Candy. “How many drinks have you had?” He asked grabbing silverware off the plate.

“Tw-” Errol raised his brow, “F...four?”

He sighed. “Thanks for bringing over the food.”

She grinned triumphantly. “Welcome!” She plopped down in Ambrose’s old spot, “So, what’d you learn?” she leaned back on the stool, resting her back against the wall.

“Well,” Errol cut into his chicken. His mouth watered, “we’ve got a lead.” He said and took a bite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3: The Red Queens should be posted by the end of the week ;3 Keep an eye out for it~


	3. The Red Queens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ready for some cards?

“What IIIIIIII don’t get,” Candy slurred as she sloshed her drink in her glass a bit, before smacking her lips, “Why steal the rootbeer?”

“It tastes good and slow down on _ your _ drinks,” Errol had pushed his plate to the side and was staring at his notes, “That’s like...six now?”

Candy grinned and knocked back the rest of the golden liquid in one go. She slammed the table with empty glass. “Seven.”

Errol closed his eyes and rubbed his nose. “Now is not the time for drinking. This is-”   


“Serious, blah blah blah yeah, I knooooow.” She leaned on the table and rested her chin against her hand. “Ya need to loosen a bit, Whiskers.” She scratched the faded scars on her face and yawned. “Didja want to check anywhere, before we snooze?”

Errol stuffed his notebook in his pocket and stood. “A few places, actually.”

She groaned. “If I wasn’t gettin’ paid fer this-” she grumbled under her breath as she got to her feet and stretched her back. “Soooooooooooooooo,” Candy walked over and leaned on his shoulder, “where to first  _ detective _ ?”

He wrinkled his nose. Her breath  _ stank _ . “Uh, well, first we should probably drop our stuff off at the cart.”

Candy hummed. “Or IIIIII could stay with the cart and watch our stuff whiiiile you,” she poked his nose, “snoop.”

He swatted her hand away. “I’m not sure if splitting up is a good plan, Candy. But, you probably should uh...wait for some of that alcohol to pass your system.” They picked up their bags and began heading for the exit. Errol tried to ignore the extra weight of Candy leaning on him as they walked out of the saloon. The heat of the setting sun greeted them, as did the woman in a denim jacket with dusty red curls from across the dirt covered road. She leaned against the wooden building, making herself blend in with her surroundings.

“Four?” Candy’s eyes widened as she shoved her bag at Errol. “I CALL DIBS!” She shouted before steamrolling towards the woman. The woman stared at Candy alarmed and bolted between the buildings.

Errol stumbled back. “I thought you said we weren’t gonna-”

“I LIED!” She shouted over her shoulder, already chasing after the woman down an alleyway.

Errol rolled his eyes and ran after her, narrowly avoiding people crossing the street. “‘Scuse me. Pardon. Sorry!” He watched as she rounded the corner. Then he heard screams. He pushed himself faster and when he turned the corner he saw Candy, holding the mystery woman in a bear hug, spinning in circles. They were alone with nothing but empty barrels and crate boxes. “Wha-” he coughed, feeling his chest burn.

Candy stopped spinning and just about dropped the woman in her arms. The woman hollered. She was laughing. “Shit, I’m gettin’ dizzy, Ten!”

Candy grinned at Errol and bounced the woman in her arms a little, acting like a child holding their first puppy. “It’s Four!!!”

Errol narrowed his eyes; his breath was still playing catch up. “Wha-what are you-”

Candy released ‘Four’, causing her to stumble forward. Four brushed off her jacket. “Rains above, ya don’t just go tellin’ every stranger-” Candy clapped Four’s shoulder.

“No, no, Whiskers iiiiiis cool.”

He looked between them. “Am I...missing something?” As Four straightened her jacket, his eyes caught sight of a bright red patch near the hem. It was four hearts, with their tips pointing out, forming a diamond. His eyes widened. “Wait, wait, you’re a-”

Four pursed her lips and grinned. “Red Queen.” She nodded, “He’s observant.”

Errol pointed to Candy. “Did she call you-”

“Ten?” Candy laughed, “Yeeeeep, that’s my name. I’m ah lady of hearts.” She winked.

He just about dropped the bags he was carrying. “So, your part of…”

“Yes.” Four and Candy said in unison.

Four patted Candy’s arm. “She’s an associate, of sorts. Speakin’ of which, what brings ya back to Thincreek, Ten? We thought ya left us.”

“Gooooooot roped into a job with ol’ Whiskers here.” Candy thumbed to Errol, “Tryin’ to find a lost shipment of sarsaparilla.”

Four blinked. “Sarsaparilla? Jack never...”

Errol spoke up. “You wouldn’t happen to know anyone by the name of Pepper, would ya?”

Four groaned. “Dammit, Jack.” She sighed, “Jack of Hearts, she does a lot of things she doesn’t think through. Wasn’t sure where those drinks came from, course she likes to one up just ‘bout everyone.” She rubbed her face. “Ugh, follow me, we’ll get this shit sorted.”

Candy laughed as she swayed. “Soooooomeooooone’s in trouuuuuble.” Four sighed as Candy drape her arm across Four’s shoulders for support.

Errol and Four exchanged glances. “Actually,” Errol readjusted the bags, “maybe we could rest a little bit. Know any, uh, places we could stay?”

Four tugged on Candy’s arm. “I know just the place...Whiskers.”

“It’s ah...it’s Errol, actually.”

* * *

 

Errol held the reigns as Four sat beside him. They had rested overnight in the Cozy Coyote. It was a...quaint little Inn. By the time they had checked in, both he and Four had to drag Candy up the stairs. They barely made it through the door before Candy was out. Errol counted his blessings for separate beds. Candy took the couch that night.

Candy groaned in the cart. “Fuck, make this less bumpy.” She pressed her hands to her hat, covering her face. “It’s too sunnyyyyyy.”

Four leaned back to look at her. “Aw, the poor baby can’t handle a little sunshine.” She cooed, then laughed. “Serves ya right fer drinkin whiskey on the job,  _ again _ .”

“Shut up, let me be hungover in peace.”

Errol glanced at Four before clearing his throat. “So, about the whole card thing.”

Four raised her brow. “Hm? Oh, I have a name. The cards are ta help keep the theme going. And it's a good cover. Don’t have ta change ya name-er-well, easier ta keep a job when a card takes the slander.”

He nodded. “Makes sense.”

Four tapped the bench with her nails. “Momma’s gonna kill me.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, and breathed deep. “Or,” she glanced at him, “you’ll get shot before we get too close.”

Bells rung in his head. “Woah, woah woah, what?” He squeaked, almost dropping the reins.

“You’re a  _ guy _ , and an  _ outsider. _ ”

“Okay, I get that,” he waved his hand, “but do I  _ have _ to be shot? I mean, I could always talk-”

Four grabbed the reins from his hands and tugged. The horses whined, but obeyed. She shook her head. “No, you’re getting in the cart.”

“Huh?”

Four shoved him back and he fell unceremoniously onto Candy. Candy hollered as Errol grunted. “Four!” Candy sat up to push Errol off of herself, “What the hell?”

Four stared at Candy and snapped the reins. The cart lurched forward. Candy gripped the sides and flipped her off. Four turned her gaze in front of her. “Sit tight you two. We’ll be entering Red Queens territory soon. And Ten, don’t talk about the White Rooks this time.”

“Why? Is Seven of Diamonds still pissed ‘bout-”

Errol stared up at the sky, tuning out his companions bickering, and contemplating how he ended up in this...mess. Only a few small clouds hung in the sky, bringing slight contrast to the hues of blues and golden rays of the sun. He closed his eyes as his mind drifted to Carrion Street, his street. Everyone would be getting ready for the potluck…  
  


“ _ Whiskers _ .”  
  


His eyes fluttered open. Candy was over him, looking not near as dead as she did when he and Four dragged her off the couch that morning. Candy grinned as he sat up.

Errol rubbed his eyes. “Did I fall asleep?”

She nodded. “Which is fer the best honestly. Seemed like ya needed it.” She pulled at the red kerchief around her neck. Errol noted it was  _ not _ there before he fell asleep. “We’re close to base.” She gave a hollow laugh, “Didn’ think this job would land me back here.”

He frowned. “Were you tryin’ to-” Candy placed her hand on his mouth and quickly moved her index finger to her lips.

“Questions later.” She whispered, “I’ll...I’ll tell ya later.”

Errol’s ears pressed against his head. He didn’t like this. Candy’s gaze shifted to Four, still in the driver’s seat. Candy’s lips thinned. Her hand went back to the kerchief and tugged at it. She didn’t like this either.

“Behave, both of you.” Four said over her shoulder, “An’ make sure to show respect to Mamma.”

Candy rolled her eyes. “Yes, Four.”

Errol tapped his claws against the floorboards of the cart. “Wait...Four?”

“Hm?”

He looked at Candy briefly. “Are you a Heart or a Diamond?”

Four laughed. “I’m both.”

He frowned puzzled and looked to Candy for answers. “She can do that?” He whispered.

She nodded and patted his arm.

The scent of cooked meat mixed with campfire smoke caught Errol’s nose. He sniffed the air. “Is that...beef?” He asked. His mouth watered. When was the last time he ate? Last night?

“Sweeeeeet night, Deck is makin’ brisket.” Four hollered from the driver’s seat, “HEY YA’LL! GUESS WHO'S BACK!” A chorus of hellos echoed back.

Candy sank lower in the cart, tugging her hat down. Errol reached out, but stopped a couple inches from her arm. She looked at him and smiled weakly as he mouthed, “Are you okay?”

Four hopped off the cart just as both Errol and Candy registered it wasn’t moving anymore. Multiple voices talked at once, making it hard to pick up on the conversation. His ears twitched, hearing his name. Someone smacked the cart. “Alright, you two!” Four called out, “End of the line!”

Errol glanced at Candy first before making his way out of the cart. His feet touched the dry, cracked earth. He saw a red. Patches, gloves, kerchiefs… all worn by women. Past the group that were surrounding Four, was a cabin. Nothing fancy, but it seemed well loved. On the front door was a white sign with red hearts and diamonds surrounding the border. In the center was a red crown.

Candy hopped out of the cart beside him. Her kerchief was pulled over her mouth and nose. She squeezed his shoulder as she walked past. A few ladies yelled out. “Ten!” “Ten’s back!!”

Then they noticed him.

“ _ Four wasn’t lying.” “He’s a werewolf? Six, I thought you said-” “Why is thare a guy here?” _

Errol’s ears pressed flat against his head. His heart drummed faster in his chest. And then...

Candy placed her hands on the two closest to him. “Leave him be.” She hissed, pushing them both to the side. She reached out and grabbed Errol by the sleeve and tugged him through the sea of red. When they were far enough away from the cart, she let go of his sleeve and tugged her kerchief down, exposing her mouth. “You okay?”

Errol nodded. “Yeah, uh...thanks.” She grinned at him and pulled the kerchief back over her nose. He could hear fire crackle and pop. The scent of cooking meat grew stronger. His stomach growled.

A voice laughed to his right. But when he looked, no one was there. His fur bristled as a chill ran up his spine. “Hungry?” The voice asked. Errol jumped into Candy’s arms. Candy rolled her eyes as the voice's laugh grew louder. A woman faded into view, holding her stomach. "Hot damn, no one's ever jumped like that before!"

“Hi _ lar _ ious Ace….absolutely funny.” Candy said, unamused. She gently placed Errol back on his feet, “And you’ve got quick reflexes.” Errol could hear the faint hint of a smile in her voice.

“Okay, you got me good.” Errol said as he brushed himself off while trying to will his tail to settle down and not be so...poofy.

Ace giggled as she lowered herself closer to the ground. “Ah, couldn’t resist.” Much like his friend Augustus, Ace was transparent. He could see through her, yet she was still clearly in front of him. She wants to be seen and heard. She gave a crooked grin. “What’sa matter? Never seen a ghost before?”

“Actually, yes.” He scratched the back of his neck, “I, ah, worked with one and he’s become somewhat of a friend?”

Ace hummed before floating close to his face. She squinted at him. “Are you really a werewolf?”

Errol blinked. “Yes?”

She narrowed her eyes more and poked his nose with her finger. A chill ran through him. And she was gone.

Candy sighed. “Sorry ‘bout Ace of Hearts. She’s just like that with new folks.”

“I’m still here!” her voice laughed.

“I knoooooow,” Candy sang as she gestured for Errol to follow, “and I’m still gonna shit talk ya.”

Errol’s nose twitched, reminding him that the beef was strong and near. He licked his lips. “So, uh, I don’t know about you, but I’m kindaaaaaa hungry.”

“So, you disappear for a month and bring back a wolf?”

Candy’s head snapped towards the voice. In front of them was a large, crackling fire. Long pieces of wood held up a rack of ribs from a large animal. Beside the fire was a woman wearing a crowned heart embroidered on her vest. Her bright red hair had streaks of gray shining through. She laughed.

“Nice to see you again, Ten.”

Candy got down on one knee and bowed her head. “An honor to be in your presence… 

 

**Red Queen**.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this should've been the last chapter....totally was planning on three chapters but then BUT THEN  
> the twist happened and I was screaming at[ my friend ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/allislaughter/pseuds/allislaughter) (who is wonderful and I cant thank them enough for beta'ing and also being super awesome) at 3am of a cool idea and mind you I couldn't drop the idea so well shit there is another chapter. It'll be uploaded after my trip! So, stay tuned! :D


	4. Calling Cards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Briskets and Interrogations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaaaaaack~

The Red Queen stood tall and placed her hands on her hips. “You may rise, Ten of Hearts.” Candy raised her head and slowly rose to her feet. The Red Queen cracked a smile and started laughing. “Oh Ten,” she raised her arms, “c’mere dear. It’s been too long.”

Candy’s shoulders almost immediately relaxed. She walked quickly towards The Red Queen’s open arms. Errol blinked as the duo hugged. His stomach roared to life as the scent of cooking meat caressed his nose. The Red Queen laughed.

“You clearly must be hungry,” she said, patting Candy’s shoulder, “Join us. Deck would be happy to feed another stomach.” She leaned over and whispered something in Candy’s ear. The Red Queen squeezed Candy’s shoulder and began walking away.

Errol’s ears twitched as Candy waved at him. “Go ahead, I have...business to take care of first.” She mimed shooting a gun at him with her fingers, “Save me some food Ryehouse.” She winked at him and before following The Red Queen through the cabin’s back door.

The woman wearing a red bandana over her hair cleared her throat. “Hey, uh, wolf dude. You gonna stand there and salivate or are you gonna grab a plate?” She clicked her tongs.

Errol straightened his back. “Er, right,” he shuffled over to the stack of clean mismatched plates. Most were tin, but fancy white and blue china pieces poked through. Stolen. Probably. “and it’s uh, Errol...Errol Ryehouse.” He scratched the back of his neck and gave her a faint grin.

She snorted. “Don’t hear true names often ‘round here.”

He chuckled as she pulled meat from a separate rack. Juice dripped off the beef as she moved it to his plate. “Thanks.” He smacked his lips. “Hadn’t decided on an ‘outlaw’ name yet. Didn’t wanna steal y’alls card schtick.”

Her lips twitched. “You,” she gestured at him with her tongs, “I like you.”

He grinned. “Mighty nice to know so.” He said as she helped pile on some side dishes to his plate. Beans. Potatoes. A mixture of veggies he recognized, but couldn’t place for the life of him if he grew them in the Community Garden or-.

The woman beckoned for him to follow her; her plate already piled high with food. Many places were taken and most of said spots gave him the side-eye. She paid none of them mind as she found a spot towards the outer rim; where few mismatched tables stood. She ignored the barrel and broken wheel as she plopped herself down on a sturdy looking crate. Errol took the spot on the fallen log across from her.

She stared at him expectantly. Her fork hovered over her food. “Go ahead.”

Errol blinked. His stomach grumbled in protest. “Oh, er, thank you.” And he dug in without much thought. His mouth felt...alive. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to savor his food. The beef was so so sooooo tender and mixed with the barbeque beans… The woman grinned. Oh. Yes. He swallowed. “This is some mighty fine brisket, Ma'am.”

Her smile brightened. “Thank you. And please,” she patted his hand, “call me, Deck.”

Errol stuffed more brisket into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “Like...a card deck?” He guessed, frowning, “I thought y’all had to have like card names? Like with numbers and suits?”

Deck snorted. “We have many more members than half a deck of cards. Besides, it’s more for calling cards that members leave behind.” She took a swig of her drink. He couldn’t tell if it was alcohol or juice... It probably wasn’t juice. “Any member who doesn’t own the name of a specific card must leave The Red Queen’s mark. But if you’re saaaaay,” she eyes searched the sky as her fork pushed around her food, “Ten of Hearts for example,” she stabbed her brisket, “she has to leave her card in place whenever she nabs like...uh, a handful of whiskey bottles.” She laughed, “It helps build a rep you see.”

He frowned and chewed some more. Yeah, Candy was definitely a whiskey gal. “What’s her mark exactly? The Red Queen’s. Is it like,” he rolled his wrist being careful not to spill his beans in the spoon he was holding, “a heart or a diamond queen from like a card deck? Ooooor-”

Deck ate a spoonful from her bean potato volcano and shook her head. “No, no,” she said, after clearing her mouth with more drink, “Cards would cost too much and many of use _love_ to gamble,” she waved her hand, “Nah, we draw a red heart with a crown. Sometimes its paint, sometimes its-” she let her voice drift off. He did _not_ like what she implied.

Errol chewed the insides of his cheeks until he tasted copper. “So, wait…” He reached into his coat and pulled out the marked card Ambrose gave him, “Then, this isn’t y’alls calling card?”

Deck stood so fast she nearly dropped her plate. “Where-” she gently placed her plate down and ran her fingers over her bandana, “where did you _get that_!?”

His lips thinned. This was not something he expected. “I got it from someone who's blamin’ one of your own of theft.” He said, choosing his words carefully. That’s right… he never did show Candy the card… Oh.

Deck’s fingers twitched as she reached out for him. “C’mon. We need to see The Queen _right now_.”

* * *

 

Candy pulled her kerchief down as she closed the door behind her. The kitchen was as how she remembered it; small and crammed to the brim with provisions. Two windows on either side of the door had their curtains drawn. A single shaded kerosene lantern hung from a chain in the center of the room. Light flickered. The Red Queen patted at the three legged table.

“I shall return. Make yerself comfortable,” she said with a wink. Her graying hair whipped behind her as she sauntered through the batwing doors. The doors swung wildly behind her.

Candy shook her head and sighed. “Dramatic as always,” she mumbled as she grabbed one of the chairs and sat with her back to the wall. Her fingers traced the marks members had left over the years. A.J., a duck, someone’s attempt at carving a rose, hearts by the dozens… She smacked her lips as her eyes flitted to the cabinets. Perhaps they still had a stock of whiskey…

The floorboards creaked as two sets of footsteps drew closer. Candy leaned back in her chair, allowing an arm to drape over the back. She pulled the front of her hat down, obscuring her face in shadows. She took a breath and closed her eyes.

“Scarlett, I’m tellin’ ya-”

“Pepper, enough.” The Red Queen said, cutting the other voice off, “Cannia, I’ve returned with a guest~” Scarlett sang as she stepped through the batwing doors.

Candy opened her eyes and slowly raised her head. “Hey thare Jack.” Color drained from Pepper’s face as the doors swung behind her. Candy smirked. Ah, she still had it.

Pepper took a seat across from Candy with an encouraging shove from Scarlett. Scarlett leaned her back against the counter with her elbows propped against it.

“I-” Pepper took a deep breath, “I already told our queen about the create I nabbed a while back and from what she’s told me… It sounds like the Red Queens are being framed.”

Candy blinked. “Okay… I’ll admit it; didn’t picture this interrogation to go this way.”

Scarlett snorted. “I never said we was interrogating.”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “Heavens above, all that whiskey’s gone to your head.”

Candy swallowed her spit. Her lips twitched. “How’s your ankle, Pepper? Did smoking hurt more than yer lungs?”

Pepper began rolling her sleeves. “What was that, Ten?”

Scarlett sighed. “Ladies, now ain’t the time for bad life choice squabbles. Time is of the essence.” She put her ear on her shoulder and stared at Candy, “From a few whispers, I hear you and the wolf outside are on the hunt for some stolen sarsaparilla,” she thumbed to Pepper, “This lil lady grabbed some spoiled goods.”

“I’m tellin’ ya,” Pepper turned in her seat towards Scarlett, “they ain’t spoiled! Sarsaparilla don’t spoil. The crate was deliberately poisoned!”

Candy frowned. “Whoa, wait back up. A crate? I have a source sayin’ it was a whole shipment.”

Both shook their heads. “No,” Pepper gripped the back of her chair, “it was just a crate.” She closed her eyes. “I have no use for a shipment.” She opened her eyes and shoved her index finger at the table, “One, it’d have compromised my job and two,” she smacked the table with her index and middle fingers, “it’d bring authorities right to our spot.” Pepper fell back in her chair and crossed her arms, “That’d be stupid.”

Candy nodded. “It would be stupid, which-”

Pepper’s chair toppled behind her as she stood up. “I AIN’T STU-”

“Ah, ah,” Scarlett pushed off of the counter, “do _not_ start Cannia Lasiurus. I can forgive flirting with enemies, but I will kick you out if _either_ ,” she snapped to Pepper, “of you” Pepper slowly sank down and righted her chair, “start a fight in my presence.” Scarlett slammed her hands on the table. Pepper and Candy jumped. “  _Are_ _._ _We_ _._ _Clear_ ?” Scarlett asked, her voice dripping with venom.

“Yes, my queen.” They both said. Defeated.

Scarlett nodded and returned to her lax posture against the counter. She rolled her wrist. “Proceed.”

Candy returned her gaze to Pepper. “Now, tell me why you think the crate you stole is poisoned.”

Pepper chewed on her lip as she sat back down. “I know its poisoned Candy. When I first brought it back I had only my gut feelin’. But then, a few sticky hands got into it when I wasn’t lookin’. Next thing I know Seven and Shuffle were pukin’ til their guts quit.”

Candy whistled. “Good reason ta think it was poison.” She tapped the table and hummed, “But then...where’d the shipment go?”

Pepper shrugged. “There was too much goin’ on. Hell, I almost _died_. I was wary of them at first especially when-”

The door slammed open as Deck and Errol barrelled through. “My Queen,” Deck wheezed as she stumbled forward. Errol grabbed her arm to keep her steady, “your mark!”

Scarlett pushed off the counter. “Deck how many times-”

Candy rose to her feet. “Errol, the fuck?”

Errol gave her an apologetic smile. “I-er… we were talkin’ ‘bout, uh, callin’ cards and apparently a queen of hearts with her face marked out is… not y’alls typical uh… callin’ card.”

Scarlett’s head snapped to Errol. “Callin’ card?” She glanced at Pepper, who was frozen in place, “There was no mention of callin’ cards.”

Pepper gripped the table as her knees nearly buckled out from underneath her. “Holy shit… I-I was right. We are bein’ framed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have YOU thought of your outlaw name? I'm Nine of Diamonds.

**Author's Note:**

> when you want to drink root beer so bad you have to go on a side quest for it


End file.
